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Subject: CRASHING WITH MY BROTHER (INCEST) — CHAPTER 7 This is a work of fiction. no resemblance to any person, living or dead, is intended. Copyright reserved by author, 2019 CRASHING WITH MY BROTHER Chapter 7 UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS CONOR: Of course I hadn’t forgotten to take my work stuff over to Jamie’s the night Jon stayed with Ryan. I just needed an excuse to show up in the morning so I could meet Jon. I’ve always been protective of my little brother, and I can be as nosy as a mother with major boundary issues, so I wanted to meet this guy he talks about so much and is seeing more and more of. You might say that Ryan is too old to need a protective big brother, but I’d say, just the opposite. Now that Ryan is starting to explore a world as completely new to him as queerness in all its manifestations, he’s more vulnerable to getting hurt than he was at fourteen when he started to get seriously interested in girls. Absolutely, he was naive, fumbling and unsure of himself, at that age, but so was every other kid he knew, including the girls he was hot for. Nothing to worry about there. Now, however, things were very different. Now, he’d be encountering a lot of guys his age, and older men, who’d had a big head start on him in learning how to deal with somebody else’s male hormones. Guys like that can hurt you if you don’t know how to handle yourself, and that risk was only intensified by his man-trap looks. I liked Jon and expected that I’d like him even more as we got to know each other better. I picked up a straightforward, decent, vibe from him that made me start to believe that my innocent, trusting, baby brother was in good hands. It didn’t hurt any, either, that Jon is pretty easy on the eyes. I had to remind myself a couple of times that Ryan saw him first and protective older brothers do not hit on their little brother’s boyfriend. Still, I wanted to see more of Jon, and decided to think about how to make that happen. A few evenings later, Ryan and I were in bed naked, watching TV, and he was resting his head on my chest, just like the first time. On quiet evenings when neither of us had anything going on, we liked cuddling up to each other like that. We weren’t ready to suck or fuck each other, or at least I wasn’t, and Ryan hadn’t said anything about that yet, but cuddling only strengthens bond we have. So far, hand jobs were the only kind of sexual behavior between ourselves, that we were comfortable with. On the other hand, never say never, as in: I’d never have guessed that he and I would ever have sex with another guy with the other of us watching, and we know how that went down. Ryan was lying on his side with his body pressed up against mine and his head resting on my left pec when the show ended. I clicked off the TV and blurted out a question: “How are you doing — emotionally, I mean — with having your sexual identity completely upended since you got here?” He paused for a few moments before answering. “Mostly okay. I was as surprised as you are at how easily I started messing around with guys. The only thing, though, is that sometimes when I’ve watched you have sex, it’s really fucked with my head.” He paused again before continuing. “I mean, I grew up with you, we’ve been close all my life, I know you maybe better than I know myself, but until last week, I’d never actually seen the sexual side of you. And I gotta admit that, now that I have seen you fucking and sucking with Jamie, or only heard you two through this bedroom door, sometimes it makes me jealous of how hot and sexy you are, Conor. But other times I just feel like maybe I shouldn’t be watching this.” “I know what you mean,” I said. “When I was watching you blow Jamie that first night at the creek, I felt like you were blowing Jamie and teasing me at the same time; like you were trying to get me so hot for you, even though I couldn’t have you, that I wouldn’t be able to stand it. I know you weren’t really trying to do that, but inside my head, that was what was happening. And the truth is, I WAS hot for you, and that felt kinda weird. I finally managed to settle down and enjoy the action, but those feelings were real while they lasted.” “Yeah, same here. Mostly, I was really getting off on watching you and Jamie, or having you watch Jamie and me. And if sometimes I feel like I’m a little weird for watching my brother have sex, hey, that only makes it pervier and hotter. “I won’t lie, Ryan. You ARE hot as fuck and I have thought about us doing each other. But maybe we should keep things where they are, at least for now: cuddling, jerking off, watching each other sometimes have sex with others, but not take it any further unless we’re both clear that that’s what we want.” “Agreed,” Ryan replied, as he tried to snuggle up even closer than he’d been before, and then he said: “Not to change the subject, but when are you going to ask Jamie to marry you?” RYAN: If I hadn’t been so unprepared when Conor suddenly asked me how I was handling my rapidly evolving sexuality, I’d have told him why I thought it might have taken me so long to get this far. In the moment, though, I couldn’t think how to tell him my theory about that without sounding incoherent and leaving him more confused than before. I decided to make that the subject for a separate conversation. In the weeks that followed our trip to the Catskills, I began to notice just how much subtle sexual behavior there is on the streets and in the stores around here. If guys ever checked me out before I got to New York, I was completely oblivious to them. I hadn’t even noticed women checking me out, unless I’d already checked them out. Now I noticed. Men and women both. And I really got off on the attention. Meanwhile, I was doing the same thing. I suppose I must have always checked out other guys, like we did in the locker room after practices or games, but except when a guy would suddenly bone up, we weren’t really thinking about what we were doing. Now, however, I was always looking shamelessly at guys and girls in the street, on the subway, in line at the supermarket. Mostly, though, it was the dudes who smiled back at me, and that made me really appreciate how much easier it is for a dude to get laid if he’s into other dudes than if he’s only gonna do chicks. After I realized that, up went my profiles on Grindr and Scruff. Around the middle of June, I had just finished my workout at the gym on a quiet Sunday afternoon and was heading through a nearly empty locker room into the sauna, when I turned a corner and saw the hot older muscle daddy Conor and I had seen as we were leaving the sauna on the day I got to New York. He was slipping off his gym clothes just then, and I shot him a big smile. He returned it, grabbed his towel, and followed me into the sauna, which was empty except for the two of us. I didn’t even have time to sit down. Muscle daddy walked up to me, put his hands on the back of my head, pulled me into a lip lock, and thrust his tongue into my mouth, just like we were told never to do in the freshman orientation unit on sexual misconduct. Except . . . something izmit escort made me not want to stop him and muscle daddy knew it. It was a need I’d never known I had till then and I have no idea where the fuck it came from. Once muscle daddy knew that I had submitted myself completely to him, he released my head and motioned me to sit down next to him. Although things were moving quickly, I still had a few seconds to get a better look at him when he opened his towel and let me check out his uncut semi, with the foreskin still covering the head. He might have been in his late forties or early fifties. His chest, arms and shoulders were big and solid. He had a belly, but with all that upper body development, he still looked good. His cock was fat and his balls large and heavy. His face had a rough, lived in, look to it; nothing you’d call handsome, just menacingly sexy. It was clearly gonna be his way or the highway, and I didn’t hesitate for a second before making my choice. Just as he was starting to pull my face down to his lap, he suddenly stopped when the sauna door opened and someone else walked in. The new guy took one look at us and told us not to worry. He’d be our lookout. There was a powerful funk to muscle daddy’s cock and balls. I didn’t like it, but I did like being forced to go down on him anyway. Something about my powerlessness and humiliation was making me super horny, and the hint of cock cheese under his foreskin only reinforced that effect. My jaw was starting to ache from having to keep it open wide enough to get him in me, and I gagged a few times, but he didn’t let me stop sucking him till he decided it was time. Then, as abruptly as he’d pushed my head onto his cock, he pulled me off him and made me stand up and lean against the wall. As I braced myself, he gave my ass a few sharp slaps and then spread my cheeks apart and my hole wide open. Then he told lookout guy to come over and get a good look at it. There I stood, my ass held open and exposed to muscle daddy and this guy he’d invited to come over and gaze at my hole. I couldn’t even turn around enough to see what the other guy looked like, and I was feeling helpless, vulnerable, and afraid, in a way that I’d never felt before. I began to wonder if I might be about to get a lot more than I’d bargained for. Next thing I knew, muscle daddy was eating me out. Until that moment, the only person who’s ever had his mouth on my ass is Jon, and Jon is a sensitive, considerate, lover who wanted to give me the best experience he could. This was something different. Muscle daddy was not sensitive. He was not considerate. He didn’t give a shit what my experience was like. He went at my ass like a large dog wolfing down its dinner. His scruff burned my inner cheeks and even his tongue felt rough and raspy. Any remaining feeling that I might have some control here, vanished. I couldn’t have resisted him if I’d wanted to, and I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to. Then muscle daddy stopped. I heard him hack a big wad of spit and next thing I knew he was using his fingers to lube up my hole. “Fuck,” I screamed, but only to myself, “I’d have trouble taking that cock with half a bottle of lube in me and he expects to just shove it into me with THAT? Muscle daddy didn’t give me time to worry about what was going to happen, because as soon as he pulled his fingers out, I felt the huge knob of his dick pushing hard to get in. I wanted to scream, but didn’t dare. Only some stifled wails escaped from my mouth. At that point, muscle daddy backed off his penetration to give my hole a chance to loosen up a little. I took a few deep breaths, before I told him to go ahead, but “please, sir, go slow.” This time I remembered to breathe deeply and push out like I was taking a dump, the way Jon had told me to, and somehow I managed to get that fire hydrant all the way inside me. It still hurt like hell, but I did it. I didn’t have much time to congratulate myself on managing that stunt, because once muscle daddy hit bottom, he kept on moving. He went slowly at first, to give me a chance to relax, but that didn’t last long. He wrapped his massive arms around my chest with a powerful grip as he pressed his body into mine and began to pound my sorry ass like a man in a hurry — which he was, because who knew how soon somebody else might walk in on us? The need for speed only made muscle daddy want to hurt me all the more while he still could. Without missing a stroke, he landed a few hard punches to my chest, bit my ears, and slapped my ass really hard. Just when I thought he couldn’t get any rougher, he grabbed my balls, pulled them sharply, and held them stretched to their limit until he finally got a yelp out of me that I’m sure was heard all over the locker room. This was so different from the time Jon fucked me. With Jon, I loved the feeling of having him move inside me, loved seeing him hover over me, loved feeling so deeply connected to him. Now I just fucking HURT! But here’s the really crazy part. Even though my ass felt like it was being torn apart, even though I thought he might yank my balls off and leave me covered with bites and bruises, I didn’t entirely want him to stop. In fact, my dick was hard the whole time. I needed to be humiliated like this by muscle daddy. I needed to be used by him. But in that moment, my brain was too short-circuited to try to figure out why. Mercifully, the end came fast. With a loud grunt, muscle daddy slammed into my ass as hard and deep as he could, held it there for a couple of seconds, then pulled all the way out, grunted, and slammed right back in again two or three times. Then his grip loosened, he collapsed onto me, and I could feel his deep, heavy breathing on the back of my neck. He stayed inside me until the last drop of cum had finally leaked out and his breathing had returned to normal. Then, still pinning me to the wall, he said to the guy who’d been our lookout, “Don’t cum yet. Dump your load in his hole before I let him go.” I didn’t even try to move; not even to turn my head enough to see the other guy. I knew that if muscle daddy wanted to pimp me out to him, it was gonna happen and I had nothing to say about it, so I just went limp and waited. But not for long. I caught my first break when lookout guy’s cock wasn’t as big as muscle daddy’s and I took it relatively easily. I caught a second break when he didn’t last long. Fewer than a dozen long, hard, thrusts and he was done with me. He pulled out, I heard the door open, and when I turned around, I was alone. I put my towel back on and sat down with my head in my hands. I felt used, exhausted, and my ass hurt like hell, but I had to admit that I wasn’t totally sorry it had all happened even if I didn’t know why. When I felt steady enough to get up again, I went to take a long, hot, shower. I don’t know how long I stood there with the hot water pouring down on my head before I even began to soap up. Back at my locker, as I was pulling my pants on, muscle daddy walked over to me and handed me his phone number. “Here. You’ll need this,” he yahya kaptan escort said, before he turned around and walked away without another word. On the way home, I wasn’t sure if I should tell Conor about what just happened. Partly, that was because I was too confused to know exactly what to tell him; how to explain feelings that I didn’t understand myself. Also, I was afraid at first that Conor might be mad at me for letting this happen, until I remembered that I’ve done some really dumb things in my life and he’s never been seriously mad at me before. What I was really afraid of, I finally understood, was that I’d discovered some deep need to let a stranger who cared nothing for me, abuse me, and then pimp me out to somebody else I couldn’t even see. And worse, I was scared that I might do it again and again. Who better to talk about this with than one of the three people I trust most in the world? (The other two are mom and dad, and I wasn’t about to discuss this with them.) A few hours later I had calmed down — mostly anyway. I doubted that I’d ever hook up with muscle daddy again, but I was sorta glad that I had this once, even if my ass did hurt for days afterward. Which it did. One thing was clear though: if I ever did get seriously into kink, it wasn’t going to be anything like this. When I did tell Conor that evening about my willingly unresisted rape (is there such a thing?), he asked how I was and how I felt about the experience, but he didn’t have too much else to say about it. He must have known that the voice inside my head was doing all the questioning and lecturing that needed to be done. One evening a week or so later, Jon was spending the night at the apartment with me since Conor was at Jamie’s. We’d just finished some Chinese takeout followed by a short discussion about my coming out to his family’s house near the beach over the Fourth of July long weekend. With that out of the way, I leaned in to give him a big kiss before I started undressing him. Looking out of the corner of my eye after we were both out of our clothes, I saw the guys across the street doing approximately the same thing we were. I pointed them out to Jon and suggested that we move over to the window, but he was a little nervous at first. When I reminded him that Conor and I had both already jerked off in front of that window while those two fucked, and that he wasn’t going to be seen by his parents neighbors, Jon’s sense of adventure returned and over to the window we went. (I didn’t forget to carry the lube with me.) By this time, bearded dude across the street was on his knees with beardless dude’s cock in his mouth. Beardless dude saw us and smiled, and a moment later beardless dude turned his head toward us and smiled too. We both smiled back, but instead of mirroring them, I had Jon face me and bend over with his ass right up against the window, where I spread his cakes so the guys across the street could enjoy the view of his open hole. They stopped what they were doing long enough to grin broadly at us and applaud. While they were still taking a break from sucking, I rotated Jon 90 degrees so bearded and beardless dude could watch me eat him out. Then I got up, faced them, and licked my lips with as much exaggeration as I could so they’d get the point across the street. They laughed, I gave Jon’s ass a few slaps, and we all got back to work. Jon and I hadn’t discussed who was going to top whom that night, but it was becoming clear (to me, at least) that, right now, Jon was gonna be my bitch. As I licked his hole out for another minute of so, I tugged my own dick a few times to be sure that I’d be log hard, then I pulled Jon up by his shoulders, told him to spread his legs and bend over. We were still at at right angle to the window so our buddies could see exactly what was going down. “You ready, baby,” I asked, as I lubed us up. “Go for it!” Across the street, the boys saw what was up and stopped to watch me work my cock into Jon’s ass. He took it like a seasoned pro, which he is, and as soon as I was balls deep in him, he grinned and flashed another thumbs up at the window across the street. Two grins and two thumbs up came back to us, and then beardless dude got in the position Jon was in, as bearded dude lubed him up and began to slide his large cock down the deep, dark, hole. As bearded dude and I began to fuck, we mirrored each other. He’d slam beardless dude’s ass, I’d slam Jon’s. I’d tease the entrance to Jon’s hole with the head of my dick, bearded dude would do the same. I’d slap Jon’s ass, or lean into his back to nibble his ears, and the same thing would happen across the street. Somehow, we were able to move in nearly perfect synchrony, like two dancers who took turns leading and following without ever speaking a word. Fucking almost in public, as we all were, we didn’t try to make it last too long. I came first. I mouthed a big scream so they’d know across the street that I was about to shoot, and collapsed onto Jon’s back as I came, and came, and came, as far into that warm cave as my dick could reach. When I was finally able to look up again, I saw that bearded dude had held off so that I could watch, and less than a minute later, he too yelled something and busted. When he caught his breath again, we each licked as much cum as we could out of our partners’ asses before making another big show of licking our lips. After a few minutes’ rest, beardless dude indicated that he was about to fuck his boyfriend. “How about it,” I asked Jon. “You wanna top me?” “Yup,” he replied with that deadpan look of his. As I bent over and rested my hands on my knees, I looked up a bit and noticed a dimmed light go on in the apartment next door to beardless and bearded dudes. This was followed by the glow of a television screen that I couldn’t see, and then two guys who looked like they might be in their fifties, sat on the sofa to watch the show as a large black dog curled up at their feet. If they turned their heads about 75 degrees, they’d be looking straight at Jon and me. “Hey, Jon, don’t look now, but I think we may get an audience.” “Who? Where?” “The apartment next door to our friends. Take a look.” “Holy shit! Whaddaya wanna do?” “Go for it! That’s what I wanna do. As Conor said to me in the gym sauna, no risk, no fun.” “Jesus Fucking Christ,” Jon muttered, as he lubed me up and got his dick positioned to penetrate me. Have you been selling tickets to watch this?” “C’mon, baby, you know you’ve always wanted to do porn. Now you can find out what it’s like to perform for an audience. If they actually notice us, that is.” “If we were in my parent’s living room and those were their neighbors across the street, there’s no fucking way I’d ever let them see my dick, let alone see me use it. But I guess we’re playing by Hells Kitchen rules now. You want it, you’re gonna get it. Unclench your ass, bitch. I’m coming in.” During my short colloquy with Jon about public sex, I had been gesturing across the street to let them know that their next door neighbors might be in gebze escort the audience, for us, at least. I think they understood what I was trying to tell them, because finally beardless dude shot me an exaggerated look of surprise while pointing at the wall on the other side of which a scene of quiet domestic contentment was playing out in the glow of the TV screen. When I exaggeratedly nodded my head “yes,” they both began to laugh their heads off. The laughing stopped pretty fast when they saw Jon shove his cock up my ass and begin to fuck. Two seconds later, bearded dude bent over as his boyfriend (husband?) stood behind him lubing them both up. It must have had something to do with the TV watchers next door, because now Jon was a changed man. My gentle, considerate, boyfriend was slamming into me like a boxer banging on a punching bag. Very soon, things began to get interesting. From time to time, I’d cast a glance at the apartment next door to make sure that they were still oblivious to what was going on right outside their window, and up to a point, they were. Jon was fucking me, beardless dude was fucking bearded dude, and the middle aged couple next door seemed none the wiser. Until…. In my peripheral vision I saw something suddenly move. It was the big dog in the next apartment, and now it was jumping up against the window and barking its fool head off. This made one of the guys get up from the sofa to go see what was setting the dog off, and what he saw was Jon and me. As obsessively as Jon was fucking me, even he now noticed that we were in the center ring of a three ring circus consisting of us, bearded and beardless dudes, and one deranged dog with its two owners who were laughing so hard I thought they’d piss themselves. “Now what?”, he peevishly demanded, as though this were somehow my fault. “Keep fucking! I’m loving this!” I yelled, although I was laughing so much myself that it wasn’t easy to talk. I did my best to explain in gestures to our new audience that their next door neighbors were now standing and watching us not ten feet away from these guys, and when one of them pointed at the wall to his right with a questioning look on his face, I nodded vigorously and assumed he understood. Jon finally lightened up and began to enjoy fucking me in front of a small crowd, including the dog, who was still jumping on the window while sporting a bright red erection of his own. The neighbors across the street — who by now had gotten their binoculars out and were putting them to good use — stopped laughing and flashed us thumbs up signs to let us know that we were definitely better than whatever dumb reality show they’d been watching. Even bearded and beardless dudes seemed to get off on the absurdity of the whole thing, because both of them were laughing too. Bearded dude (the bottom) and I could have kept going half the night with this kind of attention, but Jon and beardless dude were getting too close to make this show last much longer. Less than a minute apart, each of them unloaded in us. Beardless dude yelled so loud when he came that the guys next door pointed at the wall between their apartments while looking straight at us and flashing okay signs. As for Jon, he put one arm across the bottom of my abs, the other around my throat, and grunt-slammed into me as hard as he could until he finally went limp. That left it up to bearded dude and me. We stood there in front of our windows and masturbated like we were trying to make the cut at Team USA’s national jerkoff trials. Through my half-closed eyes I watched my partner across the street, trying to synchronize my orgasm to his as closely as I could. Next door, two binoculars pointed straight at me. (The dog apparently wasn’t into jerkoff sessions, because he quieted down when the fucking stopped.) Soon I gave the binocular boys what I hope they were waiting for, as several jets of cum flew out of my dick and onto the window where they slowly began to head toward the sill. Moments later, bearded dude did the same. As soon as we were able to catch our breath, the dudes across the street high fived and kissed each other. When Jon and I were finally ready to let go of each other, we pumped our fists in the direction of the dudes and then bowed to the neighbors across the street. They gave us an ovation that lasted longer than it had to, which was really nice of them. Even the dog joined in. A few minutes later, as I began to clean up the mess I’d made of the window and the sill, I noticed that two large pieces of paper had been taped to the neighbors’ window on which they’d written something in big letters with a sharpie. I knew where Conor keeps his binocular and ran to get it. One piece of paper had an arrow pointing to the apartment of bearded and beardless dudes, and it said: “TOMMY/NATHAN. APT. 15F” The other said: “US = BILL/JIM, APT. 15H” I ran to get a pen and paper to write down this information, then mouthed a big “Thank you!”, waved, and Jon and I headed for the shower. JON: When Ryan first told me about his sexual adventures with guys, I assumed that I’d be the one to show him — if he wanted to go there — what gay is all about, especially gay sex. That’s been true to some extent, since I did help him overcome his fear of bottoming, but mostly I think it’s going to be the other way around. He’s just so much more unafraid than I am, and more willing to take risks. He may end up getting us both in trouble, but he’ll never bore me. Without Ryan, I’d never have dared to be an exhibitionist nor would I have wanted to be. Fucking in front of our window and watching two guys across the street do the same while they watched us, was scary as fuck. I saw myself with a long future as a registered sex offender ahead of me and parents who would never understand how I could have done such a thing. In truth, I only fucked my boyfriend where all of Hell’s Kitchen could see us because I was afraid of being seen to be afraid, and because I’d been so fascinated by Ryan’s story of his last encounter with those guys, that I almost had to march up to that window, naked and erect, no matter how scared I was. When we found ourselves with a non-participatory audience, including one canine sex maniac, I thought I was gonna totally freak out. But this time it was Ryan’s turn to calm me down and get me through something, and I’m glad he did because once I stopped panicking, I began to realize that this was one of the funniest things that had ever happened to me. And once I started laughing too, there was no stopping us. If those two other guys and their dog wanted to watch me fuck Ryan, they were gonna see the most forceful, aggressive, fucking I had in me. By the time my babies finally got to swim around deep inside Ryan’s ass, I was having the time of my life. I think that this experience also brought Ryan and me even closer together. In bed later that night, it seemed like we were a little looser and more playful than we’d been before, and maybe a little nearer to seeing ourselves as a couple. AUTHOR’S NOTES: Please join me in supporting Nifty in recognition of the unique role they play in bringing readers and writers together. Even a small donation helps. To contribute, go to fty/donate.html If you’re interested in an earlier story of mine, you’ll find Finding My Tribe in the Adult-Youth section.

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