Miss Callahan, Ch. 13

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Time seems to stand still for a minute as we all just stand there awkwardly. My heartbeat is so fast, I can feel it ramming itself against my chest. I know I should be the first to speak but I feel paralyzed between Jackie’s glare and the woman standing behind me.The sight of Jackie’s face moving from angry to crushed causes a wave of guilt to crash into me all at once. This is not how I wanted her to find out and I know I should have just told her when I had the chance in the bar last night.“Jackie—” I start to tentatively say before she cuts me off.“Please don’t tell me ‘this isn’t how it looks’. Because it seems pretty clear what you got up to after our drink last night. So sorry I kept you from that,” she says, her voice dripping with disdain.“You left the bar. I wasn’t trying to rush anything,” I say back and even I can hear the defensive panic in my voice.This is why I’ve always tried to be honest with people. It was probably short-sighted to think I could keep this thing with Lauren a secret, but I can’t think of a single time I’ve gotten a surprise visit from Jackie so I also couldn’t have known she’d show up on a Saturday morning.“Which is what I came over to apologize for. But now I see that wasn’t really necessary,” she says back in the same biting tone.As my mind races to find some kind of explanation or anything I can say to make the situation better, I hear a voice behind me again and internally cringe. I should have known Lauren would try to “handle” the situation, but right now, it would be better if she just went back into the bedroom.“Why don’t you come in so we can talk about this like adults?” Lauren asks.Maybe it’s because my own body feels rigid and tense, but Lauren sounds so blasé about the situation. As if she’s just asking a friend to come in for a cup of tea and not someone who is currently shooting daggers out of her eyes at her.“This isn’t your apartment, Lauren. And you don’t get to boss me around here. We’re not at work.”“I wasn’t aware I was bossing you around. It seemed like a simple question almanbahis to me,” Lauren replies in an almost bored tone.I know Lauren is just making things worse and I don’t want things to escalate, especially since Jackie is just standing in my hallway. The last thing I need is my neighbors complaining to my landlord about lesbian hallway drama. Yet having Jackie in my apartment seems like a recipe for disaster so I quickly put my feet in the sandals by the door.“Let’s go talk. Outside,” I say to her without looking back at Lauren.“Why don’t the two of you just enjoy these together and talk about the promotion you’re all but guaranteed now,” Jackie says as she pushes the two cups of coffee into my hand and starts walking down the hallway.I quickly turn and put the coffee cups on a table that’s just inside my front door so I can go after her. Her last comment hurt, but I also can’t let her leave my apartment in a huff like that.“Ems, leave it,” Lauren calls over as I get back to the door.“Don’t,” I say back angrily before leaving the apartment and running to the stairs Jackie must have just gone down.She’s in the lobby of the apartment when I finally catch-up to her. I don’t want her to leave the building so I run up and move to the other side of her so she’s forced to face me.“Please, just talk to me for a second,” I say, slightly out of breath from my sprint down the stairs.“So, talk,” she says, but there’s no real emotion behind her words.“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have. I was just trying to protect it for a little longer. And I could tell you were feelings things for me before you told me last night. I just didn’t want to hurt you. Especially considering how you’ve reacted to her since you guys met.”“We’re supposed to be best friends. Even if I do have feelings for you, you lied to me last night. You knew you were going to see her again.”“I know and I’m so sorry, Jackie. You have to know that I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now. And I was just being selfish.”Jackie’s brow furrows suddenly and I realize almanbahis yeni giriş what I just admitted to before she even asks.“How long has it been going on then? Not just last night?”My stomach drops knowing I’m going to have to tell Jackie the whole truth. I won’t lie to her anymore, but I know that telling her just how long I’ve been sleeping with Lauren will hurt her.“Since she came back to Seattle.”“Meaning it never stopped.”I could try to explain how it did stop when I found out about Olivia, but the reality is that I lost all my resolve the moment Lauren came back, took me to dinner and explained more of that situation. But that story is Lauren’s and I don’t feel like I need to bring it up. It won’t help this situation anyway.“Not really,” I say back quietly instead.“What is it about this woman that’s so special?” Jackie asks in her own quiet voice.I let out a long sigh and put my hands up to my throbbing head. If anyone else were asking me that question, I could go on at length about how amazing I think Lauren is— for so many different reasons. But doing that would just fuel Jackie’s fire so it’s hard to know how to even answer the question without continuing to lie.“We just have a connection. It works between us. I don’t know how else to explain it.”“How perfect. You get a girlfriend and a promotion all at once.”“Why do you keep saying that? You think I’d sleep with her to secure a promo?” I ask and now I can’t help but let a little of my own anger into my voice at her cheap insinuation.I should have told Jackie about Lauren. But it’s also my own sex life and it’s incredibly hurtful for her to imply I would ever sleep with someone to get ahead in my career.“I didn’t think we lied to each other before now so I guess I don’t know. Would you?”“Can’t you see that makes no sense? Dating Lauren could be detrimental to my career, which is why I need to keep it quiet for now.”“I can see that. I’m sure Olivia Ellison won’t be as taken by your pitch once she knows you’re fucking her ex-wife.”My stomach almanbahis giriş tightens again at her words. “Once she knows? Are you planning on telling her then, Jack?”“You’ve been in the agency world long enough. This kind of thing has a way of getting out. I’d be careful if I were you.”I’ve never seen Jackie so emotionless. At least last night there was passion behind her words, not this monotone, detached woman that’s in front of me.“I can’t tell if that’s a threat or not,” I reply in a low voice.I regret saying the words when I see a flash of hurt cross her otherwise expressionless face.“Just because you’ve been a bad friend, doesn’t mean I am,” she says. “Lauren looks at you like you’re her lunch. You might want to tell her she needs a better poker face.”“I am sorry I didn’t tell you. I don’t want to lose you over this,” I say, moving past her dig at Lauren.“Last night I felt so bad about how I talked to you. And I thought, even if I can’t have you the way I want, I still wanted you in my life. But now I’m not sure. Maybe if I thought she was worth it, but I just don’t see it.”“You don’t know her,” I say back in a more defensive tone than I was aiming for.Jackie lets out a short, harsh laugh. “I don’t know how I could have missed that lovesick look in your eyes. I really am stupid.”“You’re not stupid, Jackie,” I say and I start to move my hand out to touch her arm before thinking better of it and dropping it back to my side.“You’re right. You are. Lauren Callahan and Olivia Ellison are cut from the same cloth.”“You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”“Well, I hope she’s worth it. I’m out,” she says and moves around my body so she can push the lobby door open and leave.I don’t try to stop her this time and I don’t even watch her walk out. I’m feeling such a mix of emotions that I can feel a tear prick the corner of my eye. I quickly swipe it away, not willing to let myself break down in the lobby.I sit down in one of the chairs off to the side of the room and put my head into my hands. To anyone walking into the building, I would probably look odd sitting there in my shorts, tank top, and sandals. I have to assume my hair and face are still a mess since I didn’t even have the chance to go to the bathroom before Jackie’s surprise visit.

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