A TRANS Formation – Chapter 47 – Rosy’s Desire
Tem 27, 2022 // By:analsex // No Comment
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The ringing alarm clock hits Jerry’s head like a freight train. He rolls over and hits the off button. The only thing he wants to do is go back to sleep. His better judgment tells him it’s a workday. Sleeping in is not an option. He drags his naked body into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot. Stumbling back to the living room, he sits down in his chair and closes his eyes, trying to catch a few more zzz’s before the coffee is done.Sitting in the chair, still half asleep, he notices a strange taste in his mouth.He remembers the cum he swallowed last night. Noises from the kitchen tell him the coffee is done. He gets up to pour his first shot of caffeine. Walking back to his chair, his mind replays fresh memories of his first-ever sexual experience. He smiles, remembering how nice it felt to him last night.As the caffeine starts waking up his brain, other thoughts enter his mind. They are not good thoughts. He went to bed with a man last night. He sucked a man’s cock, swallowed his cum. He thinks about the shame he will feel if anyone ever finds out. He will be labeled a “queer” for the rest of his life. He will never live it down.Drinking his second cup of coffee, he lingers in deep thought. He reminds himself how good last night’s adventure felt at the time. He wants to smile and feel good. His attempts to ignore the conflicts deep inside are unsuccessful. There are demons deep inside him. The demons inside are calling him queer, homo and sissy.A glance at the clock tells him it is past time to get ready for work. Time has slipped away. No time to even eat breakfast now. A trip into the bathroom to take a quick bath, brush his teeth to remove the cum taste, and he runs out the door.Jerry makes it to work with only minutes to spare. He is glad no one is at the time clock when he punches in. He doesn’t feel like talking to anyone. He keeps to himself all day, barely able to concentrate on his work. He can’t take his mind off last night. By the end of the day he has not accomplished much. He hopes his boss doesn’t notice. He tells himself he’ll do better tomorrow.Back in his apartment, he is a nervous wreck. Gone are the erotic thoughts from last night. His demons have been eating at him all day. It’s isn’t just the fear of being labeled a queer by society, his religious background also affects his thinking. Although he has never been a very religious person, from a young age the church always taught him homosexuality bahis siteleri was sinful behaviour, punishable by an eternity in hell. He grew up believing it. It’s a very strong belief.He remembers all the hellish times from his youth. Getting bullied by the other boys. Constantly being made fun of for being the skinniest kid in the class. And, of course, the scar on his arm, always a subject of ridicule. And now, the thought of being labeled a queer, is just one more weight on his shoulders. A weight he chose to put there by his own actions.Thinking about it for several hours, he makes up his mind. He doesn’t want to have sex with Roger again. The bad thoughts simply outweigh the good thoughts. He had let his guard down last night.He tells himself, “It won’t happen again.” He knows what he has to do. When Roger comes to see him again he will have to tell him no more of this.Two nights go by and Roger doesn’t come by, but on Thursday there is a knock on the door. Jerry knows the moment of truth has come. Very nervously he opens the door. Roger is standing there with that familiar friendly smile on his face. After Jerry invites him in, Roger begins his usual small talk conversation but Jerry doesn’t say much. He is trembling inside, knowing that the conversation will turn to sex and he isn’t sure how he’s going to tell Roger what he has to say. It doesn’t take Roger long to bring it up.”The reason I really stopped by was to tell you how much I enjoyed the other night. I’d love to do it again real soon.”Jerry struggles to mumble out his next words,”I dunno. I didn’t really dig it all that much.””Oh, really? I wouldn’t have guessed that at all. From what I saw on my end you were liking it quite a lot.””Yeah, I know. I did like it a little, but after I thought about it I really didn’t like it.””What didn’t you liked about it? I mean, you were pretty worked up.””I dunno. I can’t really remember.”Roger starts to run the tips of his fingers over Jerry’s zipper.”I was amazed at how big you are down there. I couldn’t get over the size of that thing. I bet a lot of women couldn’t take something that big.””I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been with a girl before like that.””Well listen, I’m not saying it’s everything, what we did.””I know. It’s just that… I don’t know… ummmm.””Hey, let me tell you something. We all have this thing inside of us called inhibition, and it keeps us from doing the things we really want to do.””Well… canlı bahis siteleri I just know… I just know… I don’t want to do it anymore.”Sensing that Jerry is getting very uneasy, Roger skillfully changes the subject of the conversation and in a few minutes he finds a way to politely leave.Jerry closes the door. He stands there with one hand wrapped around the doorknob and his head resting against the wall. His body starts to shake as the built-up tensions begin to release from depths deep inside of him. After a few minutes, he sits down on the couch, trying to gather his thoughts. His body still trembles inside, his eyes become watery. He feels a tear run down his cheek. Jerry doesn’t realize it, but this is his body’s way of releasing the volcano of tensions that have been building inside of him longer than he can possibly imagine.He sits there twenty minutes or so until he begins to function mentally again. Thinking about what has just happened with Roger, he feels better knowing that he let him know he no longer wants to engage in male sex.On the other hand, Roger is a nice person and has treated him with kindness and respect, so it’s not like he hates him. He just hopes Roger has gotten the message and will no longer come on to him in a sexual way.As his emotions begin to come back into balance, Jerry thinks about other areas of his life. It isn’t an encouraging picture. He’s had a rough week at work following his sexual encounter with Roger. His boss called him into the office yesterday and told him he was disappointed with the level of his work, in both quantity and quality. Jerry explained that he’s been away from printing for the past three years and was still getting used to things again. His boss accepted his explanation but told him he was going to have to pick it up soon.His next weekend trip home is depressing. Nothing has changed. Before he leaves, he tells his mom and dad he is going to stay in Des Moines next weekend. He tells them he wants to look for things to do there, since, after all, that’s where he lives now. But the truth is he just doesn’t need anymore negatively in his life right now.The next week starts off much better. Jerry feels he is doing better at work and his boss even compliments him on one of the jobs he printed. When he comes home, he finds he still has nothing to come home to. He has written some letters to his former Army buddies in California and enjoys getting canlı bahis letters from them in return. Sometimes it makes him feel depressed reading about how well they are doing compared to his dull life in Des Moines.On Wednesday night there is that knock on the door again. Jerry knows it is Roger before he even opens the door. Jerry is not as nervous this time when he invites Roger in. He feels more relaxed now, knowing he has let Roger know he doesn’t want any more sex. Roger begins to make small talk like he always does.”I was in the building and wanted to stop by to check on you. I want you to know I feel bad about last week. I know I made you uncomfortable the other night. I really didn’t mean to and I’m sorry.” “Well, yeah, I did feel quite uncomfortable having to tell you what I told you. I feel better about it now. I think you’re a nice guy and I really don’t hate you. It’s just that sex with a guy isn’t for me.””I understand, the last thing I want to do is make you do something you don’t want to do.”Jerry finds it easier to talk with him now. He has one of his favorite records playing on the stereo and they talk about music and popular bands of the day. The record stops playing. As Jerry gets up to flip album over, Roger asks him, “Say, do you like to watch live bands?””Yeah, sure. Depending how good they are of course.””Well, there’s a super good band playing at a club here in town right now. Would you be interesting in hearing them play?””When?””Tonight. Right now.””Oh, no way. Not tonight. This is a work night. I need my sleep if I’m going to be any good at work tomorrow.””Well, OK. Another night maybe?””Maybe.””It’s just that I’m worried about you sitting alone in this apartment all the time. It would do you good to get out. Iowa winter weather gets very cold and depressing when you’re alone.””I know. I do get lonely sometimes.””I know. I can see it in you. That’s why I was surprised when you said you didn’t want to have ‘fun’ anymore like we did that night. Are you sure it’s you that doesn’t want to? Or is something else inside stopping you?”Jerry can see where this is starting to go and his mind is working on how to end this once and for all. He starts thinking to himself, OK. This guy’s not going to give up. What I told him last time isn’t sinking in. I have to try something else. It might work if I did it with him again but just laid there and did nothing in return. Maybe if I can make it so it’s not any fun for him he will finally get the message.As Jerry is thinking these thoughts to himself Roger is also talking, trying to encourage him to give it another go.”Are you SURE you don’t want to try it again?” He asks.
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