Love Lost…

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May 15, 2023 // By:analsex // No Comment

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Joanna kissed her way down his sculpted and perspiring torso, stealing a taste from each of his six abs, while gently caressing his hard throbbing cock through his faded Levi’s…  Joanna is Rob’s better half. Unfortunately, Joanna is trapped within Rob and can never fully express herself the way he or she wants. She is a beautiful brunette with the perfect hourglass figure. She has an angelic face, not overly large up top, but definitely noticeable with wide childbearing hips and a nice bubble butt. Her legs are long and slender.    Rob on the other hand is shy with average looks. He sees himself as being undesirable so he doesn’t put himself out there. While looking in a mirror all he can see is someone who will never know what it is like to love or be loved.   When he looks at himself, on the inside all he sees is Joanna. I have been cross dressing pretty much my whole life, but up until this story takes place, I hadn’t known that I would like anyone who wasn’t a female. This story takes place back when I was 18 and was a freshman in college. Stating myself as being a cross dresser doesn’t really tell you who I am, it is much more than clothing. My first time with cross dressing is a story in itself. From the inside I feel like a cross dresser when I wear guy clothes. Upon entering college, which was a couple of hours south of where I grew up, I began by getting enrolled to live in one of the on Campus Dorms. It was in the dorm that I became friends with Thomas. He was 6’9″, a sophomore, and very good looking. Thomas was outgoing, always taking the chance to talk to others. He was the complete opposite to me. I was shy, tended to crawl into a shell and kept to myself. Being the loner in the dorm seemed to put a target on my back for harassment from upper classmen. One day I was climbing the stairs to get up to my room, and Todd and his two goons came running down the steps and knocked my books and notepads out of my hands down the stairs. This really tall guy saw what had happened, picked up parts of my things for me and handed them to me. Thomas introduced himself, and told me he hoped to see me around later. I didn’t run into him again until a week later. I hated living in the dormitory; my room that I shared was on the fourth level, at the east end of the corridor. The outside of the dormitory was the typical old historical brick building, with a spacious green lawn with tall oak trees to provide shady areas. The inside was not much to speak about, twenty four rooms on each of the five floors and two students per room. My room was a twenty-by-twenty foot box with two twin beds, two chest of drawers, two small desks, two small closets, and one common bath room. Well make that a half bath, a sink and a toilet. For showers, those were on the West end of the corridor. One large room with twelve shower heads, six on each side. Being picked on constantly, I tended to get up early and shower before anyone else woke up. One morning I woke up late and had to shower with others. While washing my face, someone poured a large pool of shampoo directly below my feet. Of course I stepped in it and fell. I landed hard bumping my head on the floor. It hurt, but what hurt worse was being picked on, embarrassed, humiliated… I couldn’t help it and began to cry. It was Thomas who came in and saw what transpired, helped me up and pretty much ran the others off. I rinsed off, and spent the day in my room skipping classes. Thomas came to check on me after his classes, he could tell I had cried most of the day. He invited me to dinner, I declined. Then he pretty much dragged me out of the room and forced me to go to dinner with him. At dinner, he told me I would not have to worry about Todd or his friends as they would not be bothering me again. That first semester, I damn near flunked out of college. The reasons for my awkwardness and being in a shell, I never felt comfortable socially. Back in High School I was the tallest person in the school at 6’4″, and the closest anyone was to me was around 5’10”. This made me feel very awkward, as I didn’t feel like I fit in with any of the groups. Another reason for my awkwardness was that I felt like I was a girl. I didn’t like hanging out with the guys and I was jealous of the girls. Thomas being taller than me, made me feel like I was average in height, when we were out I felt like I was part of the group and some of my awkwardness disappeared. I was still somewhat awkward, due to being a girl and all. It was with Thomas that I discovered porn magazines and videos. It was after being in the adult store with Thomas that I went back one night by myself. I ended up in the video arcade, watching those twenty channel TV screens. I was scanning through the channels, when I noticed a she-male who was sucking a large cock. I was mesmerized and excited and it made me really horny. I also saw a video with two girls and another with two guys. I knew there were gay people, but it was the first time I saw it and it looked so hot to me. Back at the dorm, that night I was laying in bed, I started thinking about how hot it looked with the two guys, it was really a middle aged man and young man, and how pleased the submissive man looked as he was giving head and later on the receiving anal. I feel asleep thinking about what it would be like to be the submissive guy in a gay relationship or what it would feel like being a woman. After the first semester, Thomas asked me if I wanted to find a two bedroom apartment and split the rent. A long story short that is what we did. Thomas took the master suite as he had a better job than I did, and he paid a little more than half. When school settled in again, we got into a routine. I would normally take care of most of the cleaning, although cleaning the toilet we split it where he would do it one week, and then I would the next time. We each also had to keep our own room clean. I would clean the kitchen and the rest of the apartment. I really didn’t mind, as I love having a clean home and it gives me satisfaction whenever I would come home and the place smells good. Living with Thomas in a private setting; I became a much happier person. Thomas and I became close friends, spending Escort Erenköy a lot of time together. Now that I had my own room, I started collecting a few female items of clothing that I kept stored in a plastic bin beneath the bed. Whenever I was in my room studying, I would have on panties, a bra, stockings and a garter belt, under my male clothes. I would go further if Thomas was on a date or just out studying. Being able to dress more was giving me good feelings, but at the time I still never connected that I was much happier when wearing female garments. Sometime around mid-term, I was in the living room studying on a Friday night. I had on a pair of light blue nylon panties, underneath my sweatpants. I was in a very girlish mood as I was getting caught up reading some poems that I had to study and answer questions about. I love poetry; I just wish that I could write them. Anyway, Thomas was in the shower and we were planning on going out that night. We were getting to be very comfortable around each other, and he came down the hallway with a towel around his waist to get a drink. I happened to look up at just that moment…. Thomas’ towel came undone and fell to the floor just as I was looking. It was the first time I ever really took notice of another guy’s penis. I think I bit my bottom lip as I was looking at him. I could not stop looking either. It was lovely, about 6 inches soft and hanging there pointing to the floor. The difference between Thomas and myself, I have a thingy at least that is what I called it back then. Thomas had a cock. When mine is flaccid it actually goes into hiding. At this point all I knew was his flaccid was longer than mine hard. It is really okay with me, as I really wish that I didn’t have what I have. Well Thomas left the room, and went to get dressed, I couldn’t concentrate, my face was flushed, and I was embarrassed. I sat there for a bit, then decided to go shower. When we left, not much was said between us until we arrived at the 1 st bar of the night and had a couple of drinks. Luckily for me the talk went nowhere around the subject of what had happened. After an hour or so, the first bar nothing was happening so we decided to try another one. At the second bar we ran into some guys we know and partied for a bit. Thomas ended up dancing with a couple of girls, I never did ask anyone. My mind was still on the same topic that I was thinking of ever since that 1 st time of seeing the gay porn, and also what I had seen earlier. As I sat there and watched Thomas dancing with a girl, I started feeling jealous of the girl and wishing I could be in her shoes. What would it feel like to be in his arms, or with him hugging me, or kissing me? A while later we were both sitting at a table and drinking but had seemed to run out of things to chat about. Thomas spoke, “You seemed like you wanted my dick earlier”. Wow, talk about an opening to a conversation. I immediately felt that flushed feeling again, my face must have turned ten different shades of red from the embarrassment, and I felt like I could feint at any second. I wanted to say to him, “God, yes I want it and you.” I couldn’t speak. If I had tried, I am sure gibberish would have come out. I was wishing he would just pick me up in his arms and carry me home, but I sat there like a paralyzed mute. Thomas even said he was open to trying some things if I was. I was scared to say yes. In the back of my mind, I was wondering if he was trying to get me to say something and then use it against me. Like guys do all the time, to joke around with other guys. I ran through a quick scenario. Yes I would like that. Then the next time we were sitting around with others he could put it out there… Hey everyone, Rob wants my dick; he told me that the other day. I should have known better, that we were really good friends and that I could have trusted him, but I continued to try and swallow my tongue every time I wanted to speak. Thomas changed the subject and after another drink I found I could speak again, but we were on to another subject. We ended up back at the apartment, retiring to our own rooms. That night I slept in a yellow nylon tricot nightgown and thought about what it would be like to be in Thomas’ arms being made love to. The next day nothing about the topic was mentioned by either of us, but I did notice my eyes always went to his crotch trying to catch a glimpse of the outline of his cock. I think Thomas noticed me looking a few times, but had the decent demeanor not to embarrass me. That night, being a Saturday we went out again on the premise of partying and to pick up girls. The first bar was pretty good, some really good looking girls, but neither of us seemed to be interested. At least I wasn’t. We made small talk for awhile, talking about our schools sports teams etc. I played sports when I was in high school, but only because it was expected of me. I really didn’t care a lot for it, especially the grueling practice sessions and having to get all sweaty. But growing up in a small town, you were in the sports group, or you were alone or you’d be included in the smoking and drug users group. Okay, I got off topic there again. A little bit later, Thomas suggested that we try out a different bar. I agreed, so we left. At the next bar, there was a good mixture of boys and girls. Thomas ended up hooking up with one of the girls, and after a bit he left with her. Hey great for him, I thought. Myself I finished my drink then left and walked around a bit till I ended up back in the adult theatre. I watched some more of the gay porn and even ended up purchasing a gay novel. Then it was back to the apartment. Thomas must have gone to her place I thought, so I striped out of my clothes. I grabbed some fresh panties, bra, nightgown, and some scented bubble bath soap and went to soak in the tub. After my bath and getting my sleeping clothes on, I went to the kitchen and got a soda, then went to my bedroom. Just as I closed my bedroom door, Thomas and his girl came into the apartment, he laughing and her giggling. Breathing a huge sigh of relief, I was relieved that I didn’t get discovered. I got into bed, covering içerenköy escort up in case someone came in and lay in bed reading the gay novel I had purchased. Thomas and his girl retired to his bedroom and keep me up most of the night. Hearing her moaning was beginning to upset me as my mind was again on the topic of me being in her shoes, wondering what it was like to be penetrated by Thomas. It was a little weird to me, that I could only think of myself being with Thomas, and not just any faceless guy with a cock. I was like that though; I needed to feel some kind of connection with the person that my fantasy and desires were about. Well sometime around 4am or so, with Thomas’ headboard banging against the wall, I started crying and finally cried myself to sleep. On Sunday, I spent the day in the library, and during the week we studied. It was about three weeks later, that we were going out to party and just looking for whatever we could find. We were walking down the strip, (6th Street, famous party street for the school I attended) a lot of the readers will know exactly what school it was. Anyhow, I wasn’t paying attention as my mind was still on Thomas. He suggested we try the place we were next to, so we went in. It was dark, loud and people were dancing and having a very good time. I was so busy talking with Thomas and concentrating on our conversation that I didn’t notice the others around us. When our first drinks arrived, and we started drinking I started to look around and noticed girls dancing with girls and guy with guys, obviously we were in a gay night club. I watched the different couples both girls and boys and noticed how happy they seemed to be. I wondered if I’d be just as happy if I were to be dancing with Thomas. Once, Thomas and I were looking into each others’ eyes, me feeling like I was falling in love, he smiled. It was beginning to sink in; Thomas was having some of the same desires as I was. Thomas spoke, “I know you want to make love to me.” For once, I surprised myself and smarted off with “I would never make love to someone before they danced with me.” I felt good about myself in that instance; I had finally stood up for myself and put the ball back into his court. The ball didn’t stay there for long, sort of like one of those pitching nets you had when you were a kid and you didn’t have anyone to play catch with. You throw the ball hit the net and it immediately is coming back at you. Well I must have been pretty close to that net because as soon as the ball left my hand it was back in my lap. Thomas had got up, came to my side of the table held out his hand and asked for my hand for a dance. I hesitantly gave it to him and he led me to the floor. It was a slow song, and he immediately pulled me in close and there I was in the middle of a crowed dance floor, in the arms of the guy I wanted to be with. The more I thought of what was happening, we could have been at any other bar and Thomas could dance with any girl he wanted, instead he chose me. I lay my head on his chest and tears started flowing. We danced to two more slow songs, and he never once took his arms from around me. We were slowly swaying turning every now and then, but we never really moved from the spot. I remember opening my eyes, a tear rolling down my cheek, and my eyes met with a girl, her head was on the shoulder of her girlfriend, and she smiled at me. At the end of the third slow song, the band started playing some rock music, but we stayed in our embrace and continued to dance to the slow tune that I was still hearing in my head. In that moment, I truly felt like a girl dancing with her guy. I don’t remember how long we danced; eventually Thomas parted from me slightly, with his hand lifted my head till I was looking in his eyes, leaned in and gave me a kiss. I felt all tingly inside, as if my legs were going to fail me. The first kiss was just a peck, then when were looking at each other, his eyes were saying beautiful things to me then he really kissed me. It felt like we French kissed for forever. Once we broke off, he asked if I was ready to leave, and I was. I told him I wanted to go to the restroom. I was in such a daze, that I went directly into… Yup, the ladies room. I didn’t notice the three girls at the mirror and dreamily went into a stall, sat down and relieved myself. I had been peeing sitting like a girl ever since childhood. I never did like the urinals, they are gross. The only times I use urinals is when the men’s room is really messy and I don’t want to sit on the toilet other guys have peed on all night. Anyway I finished and went to the sink to wash, two of the girls were still there looking at me. I froze; I asked if it was me or them in the wrong room. They laughed and told me to finish and not to worry. One of the girls happened to be the one who smiled at me when I was dancing. She made some small talk, introduced herself as Wendy. Her girlfriend was Trisha. Wendy asked me if that was my first time dancing with a guy. I told her yes. She told me I had the look of being in-love. She gave me her phone number and asked me to give her a call. I took it and put it in my pocket. I met Thomas at the front door and we left. As we were walking he said he had to also go, but didn’t see me. I told him somehow I walked in and used the ladies room. We had a good laugh. Once we had left 6th Street , and were walking back to the apartment, Thomas reached for and held my hand. He didn’t let go until we were inside our apartment. Once the front door was closed we were back to kissing. This time he pulled me in close and his hands around my back, my hands behind his neck. It felt so good to be in this position, almost like being trapped, being trapped made me feel good, safe, and secure. Thomas’s hands inched their way down to feel my butt which just caused my tongue to try and find his tonsils. Thomas broke the kiss and he took my hand and led me to his bedroom. Once in the bedroom, he asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, I nodded my head and he embraced me again and we kissed some more. While kissing, he pulled my shirttail out of my pants, lifted my shirt breaking our kiss Tuzla escort bayan to remove it. He then began to play with my nipples while resuming the French kissing. Thomas then unbuckled my belt and pants and pushed them and they fell to the floor. When his hand began to rub my butt, I remembered I had on a pair of rose colored nylon panties. It didn’t seem to faze him a bit. I was a little embarrassed, but what could I do. I stepped out of my pants and kicked them out of the way Thomas removed his shirt and we went back to kissing and hugging. His warm chest against mine felt marvelous. The only thing that would have made it better would be if my tits were squashed up against his chest, but I didn’t have any so I got over it. Thomas was never pushy with me, he never urged me to go down on him, letting me go about things at my own snails pace. I was just lost in dream land while we were kissing, with not a single care in the world. I have no clue how long we had been there making out and all, but I finally broke away from kissing his mouth, and beginning to copy what and how Tracy proceeded. Tracy is a girl from High School who I had a lot of first times with. She was beautiful and had given me my first kiss less than a year before. She was the first to fondle me down below, causing a volcano to erupt as soon as her fingers wrapped themselves around it. She and I had lost our virginity to one another and I credit her for bringing me a little ways out of my shell. She was the first girl I ever loved, and the times with her could be a short novel. Tracy gave me my first blowjob the summer before I left for college. I was sad that we didn’t have more time together, but she was younger than me and still had to finish high school. I placed kisses on his neck using the tip of my tongue and lips. Then slowly made my way down stopping to suck and nibble on his nipples, then continued to kiss my way down his stomach until I was on my knees before him. I love that position, like I am in complete submission to the man and am willing to do anything to please him. I was kissing the crotch of his jeans as I was unbuckling his Levis . Once done with that chore I spread the crotch of the jeans and kissed his underwear as I slid his pants to the floor. Not once stopping the kissing until his jeans were off and it was time for his underwear. He was so sexy standing there before me in his white briefs and white socks. I lowered his briefs, and was in awe of his penis. It was the most glorious and loveliest thing I had ever seen. Earlier I mentioned that flaccid he was 6” well not anymore he was hard as a steal bar and was at least 8” maybe more. I never measured it so who knows, but I do know it was over twice the size of mine. I was thinking to myself, now how should I go about this. Well remembering Tracy again, I just did as she did on our first time doing this. I reached for his cock; softly wrapping my fingers around it. It felt hard and silky smooth and soft all at the same time. I guess when you hold your own you don’t notice these things as all you feel is the hand touching your penis and not what the penis feels like. I raised his cock up to his stomach, leaned in and breathed in his musky and manly scent. I became intoxicated with his smell. Then I kissed each testicle and licked all over his balls for awhile, then traced my tongue upwards to the underside of the base of his cock. I lowered his cock letting go of it and placed my hands on his legs and slowly ran my tongue down the length all the way to the crown. I slowly made my way back to the base of his cock, wetting my tongue again and repeated the process on each side, top and bottom. I backed away just enough to get right in front of his cock, leaned in slightly and placed a kiss right on the end of it. I placed several more of those kisses with each one getting longer until I opened my lips just to allow the head in, then right back out. I repeated that a second time while looking up into his eyes. He had a look of total submission to me. I could not drag it out any longer, Tracy had continued the slow sensual blowjob for a long time, and I just gave in to my own lust, as I had to get as much of him into my mouth as possible. I got him in till I started to gag, thinking, “Oh my God, I am going to ruin this moment.” Of all the porn I had watched, and when Tracy did this to me, I was the only one to gag. Little did I know the sound of a little gagging would actual sound hot to him. Tracy didn’t gag because mine didn’t reach her throat, the porn stars didn’t cause they have learned to control it. I didn’t know that and it worried me. Thomas eventually told me it sounded hot when I gagged and relaxing some I continued. His cock felt hard, soft, spongy, smooth and silky all at the same time. After a few minutes I started to get a bitter and slightly salty taste, as his pre-cum started flowing. It didn’t taste too bad so I just continued. I had to pull off a few times as my jaw actually got a little sore, probably due to me trying to suck his balls out through the cock. When I pulled off his cock a thin line of pre-cum and saliva went from the tip of his cock out to my lips. Thomas looked down and told me it looked very hot. When I resumed sucking, it got better as I started to figure out you don’t have to suck so hard, and you can taste and feel more sensations in the mouth when not sucking so strongly. He didn’t last much longer and before I knew it, before I had realized where this was leading, a blast of warm sticky cum hit the back of my throat. It happened so fast, I wasn’t expecting it; it surprised me to say the least. I had never considered what I would do once it happened. The second shot was from me as my penis erupted in my panties as I had been rubbing myself. As I continued erupting, I pulled off his cock just as a second stream came out, most going in, some getting on my lips, the third went across my nose into my left eye, the forth on my forehead and in my hair, and the fifth just under my nose and in my mouth and I figured out put the damn thing back in the mouth before this get out of hand. That shit went everywhere! The one in the eye at first just blinded me, but it started to burn really bad. I ended up swallowing what was in my mouth, being as thick as it was; I had a difficult time getting it down. I won’t tell you I fell in love with cum getting in my mouth, as I do think it is an acquired taste, but it wasn’t so bad that I didn’t want to do it again.

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