Texas Toast

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“Are you fucking kidding me?”   “What?” Lisa asked, surprised by my sudden outburst.Lisa and I were roommates and freshmen at Clinton State University. We hit it off instantly, bonding over my collection of anime (she’d always been interested, but never really took the time to seriously dive into it, though she’d been building an impressive ‘must watch’ list). Being the first time either of us had lived away from home, we were happy to have each other to share this new adventure with.On the third day after we arrived, a bunch of cute young guys ran up to us on campus to invite us to a Greek mixer. The party was already raging by ten o’clock when we arrived, and that had been three drinks ago. We were having a great time, dancing and flirting with all the different cute guys, wondering if one of them might claim either of us for his own for the night. Having eagerly looked forward to the legendary debauchery of college life since I received my admission letter, I wouldn’t have minded. But all of my lustful fantasies had just come to a crashing halt.“Him,” I said, pointing to a blonde boy in a pair of sweatpants, and a Pittsburgh Penguins hockey jersey. “What the fuck is he doing here?”What he was doing was making an ass of himself by standing in the middle of a frat house living room, shot gunning a Coors tallboy while a crowd cheered him on. Draining the last of the beer, he crushed the can in his hand, and spiked it like a football.  Next came a terrible belch, and then a loud whoop as he punched the air. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the same antics I’d seen a million times.“Who’s that?” Lisa asked.“No one,” I lied. “Let’s… Let’s just get out of here.” I started moving decisively towards the door, not wanting to spend another second breathing the same air as that obnoxious idiotic prick.“Come on, Justine,” Lisa said, grabbing my wrist and holding me back. “I’m having fun. I wanna stay.”“Fine,” I said, yanking my arm free from her grasp. “You stay, and I’ll see you back at the room.”“Come on, Justine,” Lisa repeated. I could hear the alcohol start to subtly come out in her voice in the way she lingered on her S’s. “Don’t be like that.”“I’m not being like anything,” I denied.“You’re being, like, scared,” Lisa argued. “Seriously, we were having a great time. You can’t let some random guy ruin it.”“He’s not a random guy,” I muttered.“Fine, who is he, then?” Lisa asked.“My next-door neighbor,” I answered.“Don’t you mean, ‘our’ next door neighbor?” Lisa corrected. “I live there, too… wait… we’re on an all-girls floor. How can he be our neighbor?”“He’s not our neighbor,” I said. “He’s my neighbor- Was my neighbor, I mean, back home.”I’d known Curtis almost my whole life. Our parents moved next door to each other before we were born. Our birthdays were in the same year, though I arrived three months sooner than him. This general unfortunate coincidence was enough to convince our parents that we were destined to be together for ever. They took every opportunity to get us to play together.Even then, he’d been annoying. He never wanted to play what I was playing, only what he wanted to play. He’d grab my toys without asking but refuse to share any of his own. And if he didn’t get his way, he’d always cry and go running to tell on me. On top of all that, Curtis was small for his age, and a bit of a wimp on top of that. He used to get picked on all the time in school by the bigger kids.By the time we got to high school, Curtis figured out that he could compensate for being scrawny by being funny… or at least trying to. He was constantly playing pranks and teasing the girls. It earned him a little respect from the boys, but it made us girls hate him even more.I quickly became one of his favorite targets, and my hatred of him grew by leaps and bounds. I went from merely annoyed at our parents forcing us to spend time together, to being on the verge of a panic attack seeing him. I used to watch for him coming and going from his house so I could avoid running into him and hear him call out his favorite nickname for me – the one that had haunted me through all of high school and that I’d hoped I’d never hear again:“JUICY!”“Juicy?” Lisa repeated, cocking an eyebrow towards me.“Fuck,” I swore, wanting to just disappear.“Whoa, you go here, too?” Curtis asked loudly as he walked towards me with two of his friends following behind him. I simply nodded in affirmation. Curtis looked around excitedly at his friends. “Guys, this is Juicy.”“Justine,” I corrected. No one seemed to hear me.“We grew up together until, like, just two years ago, right?” Curtis announced. I nodded again.The last I’d seen Curtis was the end of his sophomore year of high school. His dad’s company had transferred him to another division all the way down in Texas. I remember when their moving truck pulled away from their house never to return, I danced all day in my room. It was easily the best day of my life – No more teasing, no more pranks, no more “Juicy,” no more Curtis.“Wow, you look the same, you know… but different.” Curtis’ eyes scanned over my body with an openly lecherous look on his face. My blood boiled.I’d been pretty average looking throughout high school and didn’t really think of myself as anything other than average now. However, I also knew that the last couple of years had been particularly kind to my figure, filling me out in all the places that guys seem to go wild over. I can’t say that I minded the extra positive attention. More than anything, I just learned to feel more comfortable in my own body – especially after not hearing constant critical comments about it from a particularly annoying next-door neighbor. It was aggravatingly true that the time had been generous to Curtis, too. Apparently, sometime in the last couple of years, he’d started hitting the gym on a regular basis, and the efforts had paid off. Of course, there was no fucking way I’d ever tell him that. I could barely even admit it to myself. He certainly didn’t deserve any stroking of egos, not from me or anyone else, for that matter. He didn’t get an automatic do-over just because he’d started hitting the gym in the two years since we’d seen each other, as if that could erase our history.“What’s the matter, Juicy?” Curtis asked, finally sensing that something was off. “You’re not going to say hello to an old Çekmeköy Escort friend?”“Friend?” I repeated, and then scoffed loudly. I couldn’t hold back from saying all the things I’d never had a chance to say when we lived next to each other. “You think we’re friends? We’re not friends. You made my life hell, you piece of shit! I was so glad when your family moved away. I hoped I’d never see you again for the rest of my life. And now here you are at my school. What the fuck are you even doing here?”“Hockey scholarship,” Curtis said with a shrug as if that was the best explanation he could come up with.“Just fuck off and leave me alone,” I shouted. I could feel tears beginning to well in my eyes, remembering all of the shit he’d put me through as kids. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry or let him know that just his presence could affect me as much as it did. I made my way through the frat house to the restroom. Fortunately, it was free. I slipped inside and locked the door behind me. Someone had left the lid of the toilet up. I slammed it down on the porcelain bowl, collapsed on top of it, put my head in my hands and let the tears come.A moment later, there was a knock on the door. “Justine?” It was Lisa. “Justine, hon, are you okay?”I stood up and unlocked the door to let her in. I quickly locked it again as soon as she’d slipped inside. Lisa looked at me the way someone might look at a wounded but dangerous animal. I realized that she was totally clueless to my whole backstory, and I must seem like a complete fucking psycho. I burst out laughing at the absurdity of it while Lisa watched me puzzled.“I’m sorry, I-” I started when I’d gotten myself under control again.“It’s alright,” Lisa said. “We’ve all got exes like that.”“He’s not an ex,” I said. “He was just my neighbor.”I told her about all of the torment Curtis used to put me through when we were younger- How he’d find anything he could to tease me about and latch on to it mercilessly. How he seemed particularly skilled at sniffing out my insecurities from my weight, to my breasts, to my legs, to my ass… come to think of it, mostly it was about my body. How the teasing and bullying had spread to other kids in the school, making my life a living hell, not knowing where or when the next attack was going to come from. How he’d come up with the name “juicy,” and how it had stuck with me even after he moved away.  “But you haven’t seen him in two years?” Lisa asked. I shook my head. “I don’t know, Justine. I mean, people change.”“They don’t change that much that fast,” I argued.“Maybe he did,” Lisa said. “I mean, I’m sure he’s still got a shit personality, but you’ve got to admit, he is kind of cute… you know, in his own way… just as far as looks go.”“Ugh! I don’t want to think about him like that,” I said. In defiance of our parents and whatever astrological geometries they believed were guiding our destiny, I had never considered Curtis in a romantic way.“Whatever. It’s up to you,” Lisa said. “But I just want to ask one thing.”“What?” I asked, feeling that I was coming to the end of my patience with the subject of Curtis.“You don’t have to like the guy, but are you going to hide in this bathroom from him for the rest of your life?”“No,” I answered, sullenly.“Good,” Lisa said. “Because I don’t think your stuff can all fit in here.”“No, I think I could make it work,” I said, going along with the gag. “I could make my bed in the tub, obviously.”“Obviously,” Lisa agreed.“And I could use the shower rod for my closet,” I added.“Put your TV over the mirror,” Lisa suggested.“Sure. Maybe hang a couple of posters on the walls, some flowers in a vase over by the door. Yeah, I think I could live with this.”“I stand corrected,” Lisa said. “But I’d still hate to lose you as a roommate.”“Me too,” I said.Lisa gave me a nice long hug.“Thanks,” I said.Lisa chatted with me while I fixed my make up in the bathroom mirror. I was nearly finished when there was another knock on the door.“Occupied,” Lisa and I yelled simultaneously.“Juicy?” It was Curtis’ voice. I could feel my blood rising again.“My name’s not Juicy,” I said through clenched teeth.“Sorry, Juice-stine,” Curtis said. I could hear his stupid self-impressed smirk through the door. “Listen, can we talk?”“Just talk to him,” Lisa encouraged in a whispered voice.“I don’t want to talk to him,” I said.“Just do it,” Lisa said. “Tell him everything. You’ll feel better, trust me.”“Ugh, fine,” I said. “Let him in.”Lisa opened the door to Curtis. She slipped past him, and escaped back into the party, leaving me alone with the man I hated. He stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, so we could have privacy.“What?” I asked defiantly. His usual shit-eating grin faltered at the hostility.“Why do I get the impression that you’re angry with me for some reason?” he asked.“Some reason?” I repeated. “Some reason! You made me feel like shit every chance you got when we were kids. Why the fuck do you think I want to give the time of day now?”“Yeah, I guess I was pretty immature back then,” Curtis admitted. “Sorry, for what I put you through.” I looked at him for a steady minute, and at the end of it, I decided he was being sincere. I believed his apology. It was simultaneously what I’d always needed to hear him say all these years, and infuriating because he hadn’t even had the decency to give me an opportunity to fully express how hurt I’d been.“So, you can just say sorry, and I’m supposed to just forget everything? Is that it?” I asked.“I don’t know what else I can say,” Curtis said. “I really am sorry. I acted like a dick to you, and I know that can’t have been pleasant, so I apologize.”“No, Curtis, it wasn’t fucking pleasant,” I said. “I had to go to therapy to get you out of my fucking head. And now you’re just waltzing back into my life like it’s no big deal. Fuck you. If I hadn’t actually lived through what you put me through, I wouldn’t even believe it – all the shit you used to say about me, and the rumors you started about me. What kind of person does that?”“I said I was immature, okay?” Curtis defended himself. “Fuck, I was just a kid.”“So was I,” I shot back.“I wish I could take it back,” Curtis said. “Honestly, I just thought we were having fun, you know. I teased you, you teased me.”“I didn’t tease you,” Escort Çekmeköy I denied.“You told me I was too short and skinny to find a real girlfriend,” Curtis said. “Do you remember that? Because I do. You kept telling everyone that I was in love with a garden gnome.”“Yeah, but that was just a stupid joke,” I said, suddenly unsure of myself.“Uh huh, exactly,” Curtis said, nodding. “Just stupid jokes. I admit that I might have taken things too far.”“You did,” I agreed pointedly.“Okay. And for the fiftieth time, I’m sorry,” Curtis said, nearly shouting. He paused and calmed himself before continuing, “Listen, if you want to stay mad at me for the rest of your life, I guess you can, and I guess I’d probably deserve it… Or… Maybe we can just put the past behind us, let bygones be bygones, and do our best to enjoy college life… starting with the very fucking awesome party that’s going on right out there. What do you say?”Curtis flashed me that old disarming smile of his – the one that got him out of so much of the shit he got himself into. It was a smile that never meant any harm to anyone, one that was just as shocked as you were to find that things had gone south, one that only suggested remorse without actually taking responsibility, one that let you know he was on your side, and really sympathized but he just couldn’t help you, one that couldn’t believe how someone so innocent and charming could have caused so much trouble. And I couldn’t help but fall for it again, thinking, maybe this time he was being sincere and genuine. Maybe this time, things would be different.“Come on, Juicy- Sorry, Justine. Old habit.” He flashed that old get-out-of-jail-free smile again, “Let’s get out of here and go get fucked up.”Against all of my better judgment, I followed Curtis out of the bathroom, and back down to the party. We found Lisa and his two friends, and gathered everyone together.“I need a bottle of Cuervo, and uh…” he tallied the number of people in the group and did some quick mental calculations. “And twenty shot glasses.”“Twenty?” questioned one of the friends as the other one rushed off to procure the requested items.“You know how they say everything’s bigger down in Texas?” Curtis asked, putting on a strong Texas accent, even though he’d only lived there for two years. “Well, this here is what they call a Texas toast.” When the friend returned, Curtis lined up the shot glasses and filled them with the light golden liquor. He handed four shot glasses to each of us. “Okay, now follow me: One tequila.”“One tequila,” we repeated in chorus.We clinked our glasses together and tossed the fiery contents down our throats. As we slammed our empty glasses down on the nearby table, Curtis was already reaching for the second shot.“Two tequila,” he called out.“Two tequila,” we responded, getting louder. Again we clinked and drank. Without waiting Curtis went for the third.“I bet I know what comes next,” Lisa whispered in my ear.“Three tequila,” Curtis yelled, and we echoed the same back, and knocked back our third shot.“I bet you were right,” I whispered back to Lisa with a sly smile.“Glad you decided to stay,” she said.“Yeah, thanks for talking me through it.”“No problem.”“Okay, this last one is a little tricky, so watch carefully. Okay, everyone ready? It goes a little something like this…” Curtis paused for dramatic effect, and then roared, FLOOR!”Curtis took his final shot, and collapsed in a pile onto the floor, where he splayed out and flailed around as if having an epileptic seizure.“FLOOR,” I shouted, and copied Curtis in dropping to the floor and pretending that I was being electrocuted. In spite of myself, I found myself laughing my ass off. It took me a minute to realize that Curtis and I were the only two people on the floor, and the only two amused by our antics.“I said, ‘Floor,’” Curtis tried again, weakly. The others simply looked down on us with a combination of pity and bemusement.“Yeah, I’m not getting down there,” Lisa protested.“Come on, it’s fun,” Curtis tried to encourage them.“Nah, dude,” one of Curtis’ friends said. “I think we’re good.”“If you don’t do it, it’s like bad luck, or… or… something,” Curtis tried once more.“I don’t even want to think about what’s gone on that floor,” Curtis’ other friend said. He offered me his hand to help me up. I stood, feeling embarrassed, and more than a little dizzy. The four shots (not to mention the three drinks we’d already had) were definitely taking effect.This is where my recollection becomes hazy. I recall us going around the party as a group. Curtis had found a spatula that he was using as a microphone and going around interviewing everyone about their intimate sex lives. Someone wanted to fight, but he talked his way out of it. Then there was a memory of all of us passing a joint around in the back yard. Faces laughing, some familiar, some not. I decided to get up on a chair to dance at one point and ended up breaking it. Holding Lisa’s hair while she threw up. Walking. Tired. Talking. Talking to someone. Walking. Somewhere. Tired… and then nothing. ***The next thing I remember was waking up reluctantly. I could detect bright sunlight, even behind my closed eyelids. I had a headache and my stomach was feeling a little queasy. I definitely overdid things last night. I didn’t even remember getting home. Suddenly feeling a sense of anxiety, I wondered if I’d even gotten home at all. Everything felt… strange. The sheets didn’t feel right. The smell of the air was different. Even my body felt weird, heavy. Fuck, was I hungover!Cautiously, I opened my eyes, just a little, to let a bit of the bright bleary day creep into my brain. The sight that greeted me was my own face staring back at me. I knew that I didn’t have a mirror next to my bed, so I guess I didn’t make it home after all. Which meant…I closed my eyes. I knew I wasn’t with Lisa because we shared the same room, and this definitely wasn’t it. Given what I could recall of the night before, the most likely conclusion was I’d ended up in Curtis’ bed. Oh God, I thought to myself, what the fuck did I do? No, there was still a chance it wasn’t him. It could be maybe one of his buddies, or maybe some stranger. I would have preferred to fuck a total stranger if it meant I hadn’t fucked fucking Curtis.I tried opening my eyes Çekmeköy Escort Bayan a little more. There was my face again, but there was something strange about it. Slowly it dawned on me that my eyes were closed. How could they be closed when I was looking straight at myself. What the fuck was going on? I wondered.I turned away, and as a I did so, I realized that my whole body felt strange and awkward. The weight that had been on my chest since puberty had disappeared. At the same time, I became aware of something between my legs. My first thought was maybe Curtis or whoever it was had a little kitten that had buried itself under the bed covers. I shuffled my legs. When that didn’t work, I reach down to shoo it off of me with a good swat of my hand. Suddenly, a pain unlike anything I ever felt before shot up from my groin into my abdomen. “Ah, fuck!” I cried out. But somehow the voice didn’t belong to me. It was a man’s voice… Curtis’ voice.  “What the fuck?”“Uh… don’t shout,” said my voice without me intending it to. I looked back at myself lying in the bed. My eyes were opening now, regarding me with only the vaguest dawning of comprehension. “What am I…? Why…? How…? Wait, what in the actual fuck?” I watched my body sit up in bed with a shocked expression spreading across her face.“Are you…?” I asked, equally at a loss for words. “I mean, am I…?” I raised my hands to my eyes. They were bigger, rougher, manly hands. From there, my eyes traveled across arms that were too large and hairy to be my own, and then to shoulders that were far broader and more muscular than they’d ever been.“Listen, I know, this is going to sound bat shit crazy,” my body said to me. “But am I… you?”“Curtis?” I asked with the voice that wasn’t mine.“Umm… Justine?” my voice asked back.I nodded slowly as I began to rise from the bed. The covers slipped away from a chest that was broad and hard, lacking the familiar fleshy shape of my breasts. I noticed my arms, larger, firmer, and covered in hair. My eyes scanned across a nice set of abs to a noticeable bulge covered by blue boxer shorts. From the ends of the underwear, a pair of big hairy legs stuck out, terminating in a couple of large feet.“Holy shit!” I yelled in a powerful voice, unable to contain my shock anymore.“What the fuck!” Curtis screamed at a much higher pitch.“But how?” I asked.“I don’t know,” Curtis responded. “I actually don’t remember much of what happened last night after we did the Texas toast.”“Me either,” I admitted. “But this isn’t even physically possible. People don’t just switch bodies.”“Physically possible or not, here we are,” Curtis said, gesturing with his hands at the situation. He sat up a little in the bed, and the sheets fell away from his breasts… her breasts… my fucking breasts!“Whoa,” he said with admiration as he looked down at my former body. “I always wondered what these puppies looked like, you know, au naturel.”“Hey!” I shouted, not liking the way he was ogling the body that used to be mine. “Eyes up here, bud.”“What?” he asked with that same frustratingly endearing grin of his. Even on my face, it had the power to disarm. I watched him hold both breasts in the palm of his hand, lift them up and let them flop back down.“Stop that!” I hissed through my teeth. “Leave my tits alone.”“But why?” he asked. “They’re nice ones.”“They don’t belong to you,” I said.“They kinda do, though,” he said, squeezing them and smiling. “Oh, that kinda felt good.”“How’d you like it if I did that to your body?” I asked. Without waiting for an answer, I pulled the elastic band of his boxers away from his waist and gazed at what lay beneath. Curtis had shaved himself right down to the skin, highlighting what was by any measure, a fairly impressive cock – not that I was ready to give Curtis any validation by complimenting him.“Heh. Knock yourself out,” he replied, lifting the covers to get a good look at the rest of the body he’d stolen from me. His hand seemed to feel around until his face lit up with a sudden surprised expression. “Oh shit, is that what it’s like?”“What are you doing?” I asked nervously.“Getting familiar with the new equipment,” Curtis answered with his grin. He pulled his hand out from the covers. Two of his fingers were slick and shiny.“What the fuck, man?” I shouted at him. “You haven’t even had my body for ten minutes and you’re already trying to fuck it. What the fuck is the matter with you?”“Come on, juicy…” he paused, took a look at his wet, glistening fingers. “Oh, juicy! I think I just figured out why you get so upset when I call you that. I never thought of it that way. That’s too funny!”“Fuck you,” I retorted.“Now, there’s an idea,” he shot back.“No, it’s not,” I yelled. “Leave my pussy alone.”“I mean, it’s kind of my pussy too, now,” he said, reaching back beneath the covers. “But feel free to take my body for a test drive, too, if you want. It’s a pretty nice ride, if I do say so myself.”As if his words weren’t maddening enough, he added an arrogant little wink. I felt whatever sliver of self-control I’d been holding onto in this crazy situation finally snap.“Yeah, I’m sure,” I said, lapsing into a sarcastic tone. Wanting to give Curtis a taste of his own medicine, I reached into his boxers, pulled out his cock, and started wagging it at him. “Oh, look at me, I’m Curtis, and I’ve got this big old floppy dick… Oh…”My pulse quickened, and there were those familiar little tingles of arousal, but they were more concentrated in that unfamiliar place that had sprouted overnight between my legs. I felt the muscles there tighten in a very pleasant way. When the thing twitched as if with a mind of its own, I pulled my hand away as if it might somehow come to life and try to bite me. It wasn’t that I’d never touched a cock before – I’d been with my share of guys – But I realized that it was very different when it was attached to your own body.“See?” Curtis asked from my former body. He was watching me with intensity from my own eyes. “Fun, right? Go ahead.”“Yeah, I bet you’d love that,” I retorted.“You can’t tell me you’re not as curious as I am,” he argued.I looked down at it, and saw that it had gotten a little thicker, dangled a little longer. The magical tightening sensation was becoming more and more intense as it grew. And in spite of my resolve to ignore the damned thing, I found my hand moving towards it, almost by instinct, sliding along the smooth skin of my navel until I’d circled my thumb and forefinger around the base. Uncertainly, I gave it a little squeeze, just to see how it felt. It responded with an eager twitch, growing even bigger and firmer.

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